No Fail Strategies For Overcoming Shyness

71

By Patti Ann

Overcoming shyness is a problem thousands of people are confronted with. It can ruin social lives and create loneliness. If not dealt with, it will not improve but only get worse.

At one time or another all of us feel shy or anxious. It can appear as butterflies in your stomach when you walk into a room full of strangers or breaking into a sweat when you have to give a speech.

More than half of all people have a fear of public speaking. Social anxiety can be an occasional case of jitters all the way up to a disabling disorder that can wreck havoc on your entire life.

Your quality of your life will be improved by learning how to calm these fears. In order to overcome shyness, we must first realize what it is.

Shyness and anxiety are your automatic response to a perceived danger. Your body then releases stress hormones which can cause your heart to race, your face to flush, your palms to sweat, your muscles to contract and create a queasy feeling in your stomach.

Overcoming Shyness

Overcome shyness
Overcome shyness

Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxieties

Shy people try to escape these social anxieties by avoiding social situations all together. Many times people don't realize that they are shy. They may say that they don't like parties or don't like making presentations, when in truth, they are really suffering from shyness.

The more often that you avoid social situations which cause you anxiety, the more ingrained the fears become. Avoiding these situations is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. To overcome shyness you must confront them head on.  Overcoming shyness takes practice. You have to expose yourself to social situations in order to become more comfortable in them. 

Why Are People Shy?

There are two main reasons why people are shy and filled with anxiety. These are the fear of embarrassment and the fear of being judged which are sometimes caused by low self esteem. People are afraid they will say something that is embarrassing or that people will consider their statements foolish or stupid. So, what is the best way for overcoming shyness?

Start by taking small steps to do the things that make you shy and frighten you. You don't have to try to be the life of the party, just make it a goal to talk to one or two people. Reward yourself when you accomplish this goal. The more of these little steps you take, the more you will succeed in overcoming your shyness.

By exposing yourself to more and more social situations, the more relaxed you will feel when you realize that there is really nothing to be afraid of.

Overcoming Shyness With NLP

It is also important to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. Don't think that the worst will happen in a social situation. Rehearse and visualize the situations that make you nervous. Playing it out in your mind ahead of time, and seeing positive results, makes it much easier once you are actually in the situation.

Another method for overcoming shyness which has become very popular and it works miracles is Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). NLP works by changing your thoughts and altering how you think about things. You simply listen to an audio and it will help you overcome negative behaviors. Visit NLP Secrets to read more about it. It will boost your self confidence and help you in overcoming your shyness.

Additional Help For Overcoming Shyness

Overcoming Shyness Video

Comments On Overcoming Shyness Hub

TimArends profile image

TimArends 17 months ago

Good hub. One way to overcome shyness is to work on your conversation skills. A lot of the nerves that surround shyness are due to performance anxiety, based on not knowing what to talk about with someone.

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 18 months ago

Hello ExpandYourMind! Thanks - glad you stopped by.

ExpandYourMind profile image

ExpandYourMind 18 months ago

Good hub,Patti Ann. Shy people often feel left out; thanks showing ways to get included.

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 19 months ago

Hello SchoolGirlForReal! Thanks - Glad you liked it.

schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal Level 5 Commenter 19 months ago

Very nice hub, enjoyed the video. Following you-come visit me :)

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 23 months ago

Hello Springboard! It is true that the older you get the less shy you are - I think you are right - as you get older you care less about what people think about you.

Springboard profile image

Springboard Level 5 Commenter 23 months ago

Shyness can be terribly debilitating for some. I think, interestingly enough, the older one gets the less shy they become, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that the older you get the less you give a damn what others think about you. :)

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 24 months ago

Hi Hypnodude! Yes, it does take some practice - thanks - good to hear from you again!

hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 24 months ago

Up and useful again. "Overcoming shyness takes practice", this is very true, and I can assure that with practice shyness almost disappear. :)

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 2 years ago

Hello Habee!! Good to hear from you - thanks for stopping by.

habee profile image

habee Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

Good advice. Fortunately, I've never had this problem!

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 2 years ago

Hi tobey100 - It's funny how you do eventually outgrow shyness - I only feel it in certain situations now.

tobey100 profile image

tobey100 Level 3 Commenter 2 years ago

Excellent hub Patti Ann. I was so shy when younger I would cross the street rather than walk past someone approaching me in case I had to say 'hi'. I think now I'm at the other end of the scale. Thanks for following as well.

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 2 years ago

Yes, I was also shy as a child - I would not consider myself shy now though.

fishtiger58 profile image

fishtiger58 Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago

I was very shy as a kid but seem to have overcome it since becoming an adult.

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 2 years ago

I was also born shy. It takes practice to overcome. You just have to take small steps and the more you do, the more comfortable you are.

anglnwu profile image

anglnwu Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

What if you're born shy? Like me? Anyway, thanks for the informative hub and yes, i agree--you simply have to put your best foot forward and take it from there.

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 2 years ago

Funny you should say that - I am the same way. People consider me a person who is outgoing - but I also have a shy side that sometimes appears - especially in groups of people.

DoodleLyn profile image

DoodleLyn 2 years ago

Hi Patti Ann - Most people would NOT consider me to be shy, as I'm outgoing, and usually a leader-type personality. But, deep down, I do have insecurities that I have to fight off. I have employed many of the tactics you presented here, and they work. Very informative and well written hub.

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 2 years ago

Thanks!

Silverlining profile image

Silverlining 2 years ago

Great info!

Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann Hub Author 2 years ago

Thank you for your comments.

Luciendasky profile image

Luciendasky 2 years ago

Very nice hub... very informative - I will have to share it with my boyfriend.

Submit a Comment
You Must Sign In To Comment

To comment on this Hub, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages account.

Please wait working